Goodbye .:EnglandxReader:. (Part 8)

“Grief does not change you, Hazel. It reveals you.”
― John Green, The Fault in Our Stars
Not far above my blonde head was a shimmering gem that was the same (e/c) as (f/n)’s but it was shining bright like her eyes did when I finally confessed my heart’s screams to her. It gently floated down on to the bed, lying in front of me then a chain began to form around a small hole at the top of the small gem. She had left a part of her soul for me; I knew that was exactly what she had done for me to keep. I was unclear on if I should reach for it or really on what to do…

Arthur, I want you to keep it. Please at least do that for me. I won’t be in this world much longer.

Her voice kept ringing in my voice. How was she talking to me when her body was gone? Was her spirit still trapped here? Well, it won’t be here for much longer. I slowly rose to my feet and gently picked up the necklace that seemed to sparkle brightly when I touched it. That surprised me, had she left the part of her soul that loved me? I was unsure but didn’t have a chance to think about it before the door to her room was slammed open.

“Arthur, it is my turn to watch over-“He stopped talking when he saw the empty bed in front of me. I knew I must look like a wreck as well because just as he looked at me, any sight of anger disappeared for a moment then flared up again but he was trying to keep it under control.

“She is gone?” He asked softly but his voice cracked. Hearing those very words caused me to break with my fragile reality. Tears flowed down my pale cheeks as I sat down and covered my face, not wanting to be seen like this. That seemed to be all the answer he needed and sat down next to me with a sigh. I then felt a large and slender hand rub circles on my back to smooth my sobs though it just made them so much worse. The tears came out faster and sounded like a blubbering baby but right now, I didn’t even care. (F/n) was really gone and now all I had left was a necklace, possibly a part of her own soul.

We sat like this for a couple minutes but it dragged on like it was hours of pain. Finally, I composed myself and looked over at Alfred. I knew he had to be taking it pretty hard as well, maybe even worse than me but he wouldn’t let it show, trying to be the strongest of us all. I let out a sigh, which caused him to look at me and I saw the tears start to finally fall form his baby blue eyes. This brought on another fit of tears for us both, though it felt great to finally let all of this pain out together, rather than alone. Soon this was all, it was finally asked by him.
“What were her last words?”

It choked me up to remember those last words she physically spoke, it broke my heart even more to hear them spoken in my voice.

“She wanted me to tell you that she will miss you and Matthew, a-and… that she hopes we all meet again.” I hung my head, it hurt so much as I clutched the gem in my hand tightly, almost feeling the sharp edges bite into my skin and cause it to bleed, but I wasn’t sure. Everything hurt at this point.

I heard Alfred hitch his breath, surprised by my words like they had been a knife plunged into his very soul. It probably was like that, anyone would get hurt hearing the last words of someone they loved passing away. It was so quiet now, which even felt strange to me but right now, I didn’t even care. (F/n) was gone.

“We have to tell the others, Arthur.” I heard Alfred say, at this point, I wasn’t looking at him anymore. My head was hung downwards, staring at the floor with everything running through my mind and yet…nothing at all seemed to be there. Minutes ticked by in the heavy silence, like a blanket that covered us and was taking our very breaths away from our lungs. I felt a hand on my shoulder, stiffening and trying to guard myself, I looked up at Alfred, straight into his sky blue eyes but in that moment, they seemed duller, darker with sadness and longing.

Letting out a sigh and looking at the window, I nodded. “Yeah, I know, Alfred. Was anyone awake that you knew of?” I didn’t dare to look at him, the emotions swirling in those eyes just kept making this so much more real and proved that I wasn’t the only one hurting but I think he might believe it hurt me worse. I was the one that helped her grow up, I was the one that would spend hours, sometimes days, at a time in the hospital with (f/n) while doctors tried to figure out how to help her but after the second stay, they gave up on trying to help her in British hospitals, and what made it all worse was that if I hadn’t made her stay with me longer, if I had given her the independence she needed and deserved when the nuclear waste had spilled on her lands, she could have gotten more help than I could on my own and fixed it, saved the trees and land and animals and people before it turned worse. Bloody hell, she could have stopped it form getting into the water supplies! It was her own land, she knew it so well and yet she barely had any memories of it before she lived with me. She was smart, we all knew she was. If you asked me who I thought took this the hardest, you would be surprised by my answer.

I would say she was taking it the hardest. She was the one suffering without a life anymore. That is what will be the hardest for anyone, especially a country like her and as young as she was. Hearing a sigh, I looked back at Alfred as he stood form his seat.

“Either you tell them or I will. I think it would be best you tell them because she was your colony and under your rule for the longest time and only had her freedom for about twenty or so years.” He said in a quite serious tone that I hadn’t heard in quite some time.

Thinking on this all, I stood up. I wanted to be the one to tell them, I was the last person she saw before her death so I will spread her words to them and make sure her memory will never be forgotten by any of us. Clutching the gem once more, I put on the necklace and let it hang around my neck. Alfred eyed it for a moment then looked at me with a raised sandy blonde eyebrow.

“It was on the bed after she faded. It matches her eye color and she kept whispering about it in my mind before leaving this world.” I explained which he nodded; we all knew that denying the possibility of magic not being real was useless at this point. He also couldn’t deny it because of the Salem Witch Trials form his colony days. Then we started our journey to go tell the others of (f/n)’s death.

~Timeskip~
Taking in a deep breath, I stepped out of the car with Alfred. We decided to tell Matthew first(which I had yet again forgotten him) since he had helped her as well and they were basically siblings like Alfred and her. All the countries were staying in different hotels, a few did stay in the same ones though, such as this was also Alfred’s, mine, and frog face’s hotel, our tastes were still similar to each other. I already knew where his room but the elevator ride to it felt like an eternity to me. Once there, I knocked on his room door. Silence ticked by until there were muffled sounds and the door opened to an anxious and ruffled Matthew. His blonde hair was sticking up in several places, clothes not even changed out of his pjs, and there were violet smudges form under his eyes.

The moment he looked at me and Alfred, the tears spilled out his violet eyes and sobs were heard from his throat, though they were soft. I and Alfred got him back into his room and I sat him on his bed while Alfred said he would make some tea for us two. I knew he was just giving us space.
I felt Matthew grab my shirt, clutching more like it. He seemed like a child again, wanting to not believe the hard truth of what has happened. “A-Arthur, please t-tell me that w-what I am think h-hasn’t happened.” He begged, slowly looking up at my face with large eyes that were filled with tears.

I couldn’t get the words out of my throat, even if I tried to speak, it came out choked up form how sore my throat had grown form my sobs. I nodded slowly, sadly. I didn’t want to believe it either, that she was gone form us all forever more. Or at least, it seemed that way. I held Matthew while he cried, gently rubbing circles on his back like Alfred had done for me and soon he had calmed down, though the news still rattled him.

I look at the necklace around my neck, fingering it gently while it glowed brightly, like it was alive. That was when I had an idea but it would take long to put together, but could fix things. Maybe (f/n) wasn’t truly gone just yet.